‘Is it fiction, or non-fiction?’ the person asked.
‘Fiction.’ I replied.
‘Your first book?’ the person continued.
‘Yes it is!’ I replied with a grin.
‘It is autobiographical then.’ The person said. It was not even a rhetorical question; it was a statement.
The first time this was said to me, I protested vehemently that it was not. Yoko was not me, nor do I have access to a parallel universe. Well, not when crossing my doorstep that is, whatever happens in my mind is another matter.
However, some time later I took a 6-month break from my book before it went into editing. When I picked it up again, it was still not an autobiography, it was still not telling my life story, and Yoko was still not Virginie. The story was a fiction, a fantasy, and the majority of the characters were purely fictional. And yet…
Yet it is deeply infused with who I am. It is me. Real elements of my life, if only a few, have inspired me – among those the house in Bayswater, a couple of my housemates, my friend Jazz. How could it not be? It is Life that inspires you to write. What you live, observe, feel and dream in this life, in your life.
It was not the main thing that struck me when I reread Gatekeepers with some distance. What was a surprise was how I recognised my own voice and thoughts, my analysis and views of life in each of the characters. Through every single description, dialogue and thought they may have, I was revealing a little of me, like a back door into the workings of my mind or an insight of my inner world. It was unsettling and left me feeling vulnerable at first. When I realised this, I smiled. Here it was, another similarity with Yoko, the avoidance of vulnerability. Oh! I have to be careful here, maybe you have not discovered this part of her yet!
And so I decided to give a wink to the readers of Gatekeepers, to let a door open for them to reach to me via Yoko, should they wish to. I created an email address which Yoko indicated and used in the book. My friends reading Gatekeepers already have a direct access to me and would not require it, though they are welcome to use it and liaise with a different side of me (and they might do so anonymously); any other reader now has this options to get in touch with Yoko, and the side of me that is her. The email address is in the book to discover. Just please remember that Yoko often takes some time to answer messages!
So now, returning to the comment that every first book is autobiographical of some sort, I cannot protest any longer. Except to broaden the statement: does this really apply only to one’s first book? I don’t believe so. Any email, article, book in which one pours his heart will be an autobiographical touch. It cannot be otherwise, your work carries a part of you, howbeit infinitesimal.
Thank you for reading,
Yours, Virginie